Sometimes, something will catch my eye that makes me truly ponder my life and my experiences herein. Today, I watched the below video on being “Pretty”. It really made me stop and think about my life and my own struggles with being “Pretty”. Thus, the following blog.
In the Early Years of my life, I thought I was ugly. (I’m 100% serious). I was a very dark-skinned gay Jewish boy, but perhaps that’s because I spent three consecutive months in the summer outside at the lake. (Who knows?) The sad thing is, I already had a pre-conceived notion throughout my childhood that being “Pretty” was somehow the way I wanted to look on the outside.
When I was sixteen years old, at Sarah Lawrence, I remember looking at myself intensely in the bathroom (btw – shared with eight other guys) and at that moment decided I was “okay” looking. At sixteen going on seventeen, I KNEW I was AWESOME on the inside, and I felt that finally my outside was starting to reflect how I felt on the inside.
Since then, it’s been quite the journey. When living in New York, I refer to those as my wanna-be-model days. I was actually modeling in NYC. See, outside of the runway (for which clearly, I was too short) there were A+ models, B+ models, C+ models, and D+ models. A+ models were the most stunning breed of models. B+ models were people like me. They were too good looking for commercial media, but not good looking enough for high fashion media. The most competition for the least amount of jobs. There were the C+ Models, who were the standard “okay” looking, great for commercials and perfect for Bank of America ads. Then, there were D+ models. They were the models who fit a specific brand, ethnicity, and/or “need” for the clients. Kindly note these model types were advised me to by my various friends in the Modeling Agency world. They are not my opinion.
I do want to mention an important fact. No matter where you fall in the A+ to D+ model scale, we all gotz self-confidence issues. We all gotz problems. We all must pay taxes. We all must take bathroom breaks. Believe it.
Then, I moved to sunny Los Angeles where I am consistently surprised. People out here have THE best bodies in the world, however, the faces are, not as beautiful as those in NYC. So, New York is the land of the great looking faces and LA is the land of the great looking bodies. Anyway…I digress.
I’m perplexed by the “Pretty” issue. Of course, everyone wants to be good looking. That’s a given, right? But why? Is it because we want to be admired, desired, and the center of other people’s attention? Does it fulfill some childhood need that we were lacking? Do “Pretty” people get more things? Why is “Pretty” at all better?
While I definitely agree that “Pretty” people have an easier go at life than others, I also have to add at what cost. In my experience, truly HAWT individuals have a myriad of other issues those of which us not-so-hawt humans don’t have to deal. Other people mutilate their faces, bodies, etc…all on the socially-induced pretext that “Pretty-ness” is what life is all about. That said, I’m not opposed to having some work done to preserve the terrible-ness of age-defying effects. I am, however, suspect of those that change their entire appearance just to be “Pretty”. Before going to that extreme, come to me for coaching! I will help you Embrace you.
To me, some of the most beautiful people alive or on TV are “The Biggest Loser” contestants (or TBL fans at home) after they have lost hundreds of pounds. Those are my heroes. Those are the people that truly smile from the inside, which is why I love the show so much. They define beauty in the most physical, emotional, and spiritual way.
I, personally, do my best to give thanks every day for having two legs, two arms, a decent face, my health, my physique, and that I can walk and run. (Well…soon). How often do you appreciate yourself?
As you will see in the video below, being “Pretty” is just not enough anymore. I agree 100% that I do NOT want to live in a society where being “Pretty” is the end all be all. I do not want my children to struggle to be “Pretty”. I want my children to struggle to be the most loving person in the world, the most fantastic person in the world, or the most giving person in the world. I want my children to understand that society will do its very best to define what we believe to be “Pretty”, but that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I want my children to believe that beauty truly starts from the inside and works its way to the outside. Finally, I want my children to KNOW that no one can define what you believe to be beautiful and I want them to Embrace who they are and all others as well.
I’m sure I’m in for quite the battle, but imagine what we all could do if we stopped obsessing about being beautiful/”Pretty” and instead, embraced who we were. OMG…what a fucking nightmare~! (My Cousin Vinny reference). It would be an incredible place to be, live, and know. Join me!
Marriage Equality Now!
1) RIP “Griselda” – my fave hen from the backyard. She unfortunately died suddenly this weekend from the same EggBound problem that I had previously saved her life many many moons ago. I’m sad.
2) Starting next week, I will be doing a major publicity/promotion for my book. Yay! Rest assured, I will be reaching out to my contacts.
3) Coaching. I have only 3 time slots left for empowerment and confidence coaching sessions. Let me know if you are interested.
4) Did you read my blog published last week in the Huffington Post Gay Voices? It was AWESOME! More to come!