Today’s post is going to be a little silly. Bare with me. Sometimes we all just need to laugh. My intention today is to laugh as much as possible. My intention here to make you laugh at least once. Just once. Or for those of you who are NOT going to laugh, I hope you just crack one smile. Sometimes, it’s all about the smaller things that make you smile or laugh, right?
OK. Les-bi-honest (“Pitch Perfect” 2012), there are a few things that each of us do that are just WACKY…or there are things that we do without realizing it…that are just plain CRAY-CRAY.
For some reason, I am a klepto with a couple different items. Today, we’ll only speak of two. Let’s discuss Pens first. Ok, it’s not like I’m Winona Ryder, but I definitely do have a problem when it comes to pens. I love pens. I love to hold them. I love the way they feel when you write down notes. Yum. Actually, at my desk I need to have at least four pens in my direct view in order to feel comfortable. (Hey, I never said I wasn’t a little strange!) I definitely have my favorite types too. God bless me some blue BICs. For some odd reason, I just walk off with other people’s pens. It’s a problem. I know it is. The worst part is I don’t even realize it and then I end up with various pens at my desk and I usually have NO idea how they came to my desk. Oops. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there, am I? Am I? (Crickets)
Secondly, I also LOVE small spoons. I collect all small silverware, really. But I love me some spoons. My mother told me that I used to run around the house at two (or three years old) constantly with a spoon in my hand. Apparently, I took it everywhere I went. It was when I started banging on my grandmother’s antique piano that my mother decided it was time for me to learn to play an instrument. To be honest, if it were socially acceptable to walk around with a spoon in my mouth or in my hand, I would probably still be doing so. lol. Nowadays, whenever traveling to distant, different, and new countries, I will always return with at least two or three small and decorative spoons. I do have standards though. I don’t take any spoon. They have to be cute, unique, and for some reason, I only take the ones that speak to me. No, not literally. By definition, this would not really fall under kleptomania because 1) I know that I am “stealing”; 2) I do feel guilty for a second or two; and 3) it is for purely my personal gain. Oh yeah, and the most important part, I always have someone else with me and make them steal the spoon on my behalf. LOL. Good Times!
Paper Towels will be the death of me!
Does anyone else use a butt load of paper towels? Like beyond normal? I mean, I go through paper towels like they are going out of style and FAST. I just like the way they feel. They always feel new and fresh. I think that dish towels are sooo dirty. I really don’t understand it. It’s incredible to me. I make it a grand point to recycle each and every day, but yet I feel somehow resound and justified in my constant and gynormous waste and mis-use of paper towels. Sometimes, when I’m feeling daring and bold, I even might re-use a paper towel. Oh god, there I admitted it. Pet Peeve alert, I don’t like the half sheets. The cheapy paper towels are now pretty much only available in half-sheets. Ugh. Gross. I’ll take the full 12″ X 12″ sheets any day or any time. Those are heavenly. Don’t you agree?
Toilet Paper. The harrowing debate continues… Over vs. Under?
I don’t know why toilet paper has come up twice already this year in my blog alone. All I have to say is that I am an Over-person and not an Under-person. And I think it’s very rude when strangers or friends come into your house and shift the Toilet Paper from Over to Under. I mean, who do you think you are? Changing my toilet paper like that. The only time I think it might be appropriate to change it up is when you run out and you are replacing the toilet paper. I’m okay with that. But, word to my friends and family, please don’t change the gosh-darn toilet paper in my bathroom from Over to Under! It’s so ruuuude! Can I get an Amen up in here! (yes, that’s my silly little plug for RuPaul’s Drag Race Season V)!
13 days until you can purchase my book, “How I Learned To Smile From The Inside”. (perhaps as early as February 5)
1) There is actually a slight chance that you may be able to purchase my book as early as February 5. Keep you gosh-darn fingers crossed. I know mine are…
2) Good news… I am the interview process for three amazing positions. Will keep you apprised.
3) Start thinking about who you know! Over the next few weeks, as I want to market and publicize my book, I will be asking for your help and support to tell EVERYBODY you know to purchase my book. We must get the word out!