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Today, I wanted to write about something personal.  I wanted to tell you something that is going on with me right now.  After all, you are following my journey in life through this blog, right?  Using my upcoming book’s S.M.I.L.E. Method for Healing, I will take you through my current journey of dealing with being unemployed and a statistic.  It’s been very very hard.

The Current Situation:  Two years ago, after I was almost kidnapped in Mexico (another story for another time), I, unfortunately, had to leave an incredible Senior Management position.  Since then, I have been consulting and have amazingly enough been able to continue paying off my debts, been able to maintain a certain standard of living, and worked on some great projects…well…for the most part.  However, truly to my detriment, I have not been able to save any money, so now I find myself “needing” to get a job ASAP.  And that feeling sucks!

Shock:  In my most recent position as consultant, I thought I would be employed throughout the rest of 2012.  I had just caught up on all of my debts for 2012, when they let me go three months earlier than expected.  I was a bit shocked, I must admit.  That’s the thing about consulting work.  Here one day, gone the next.
Mock-cceptance:  For two weeks following my quick departure, I somehow believed that something greater was just around the corner.  I had two promising second interviews and was convinced that one of them would be a great next career move for me.  I was definitely in denial.  It’s not that easy.
In Overwhelmdom:  Last week, both of those promising jobs were given to other candidates.  Both of them advised that it was between one other person and me, to no avail.  Next thing I knew, I was angry.  I was sad.  I was disappointed in myself.  And for the last week, I have been on an incredible roller coaster ride of emotions.  Happy one minute, sad the next.

Learning:  It’s hard to find a job in today’s market.  Let alone find a high-paying “day job” that you KNOW you will be leaving within the next couple of years when I hopefully become a NYTimes Bestseller, right?  So, I came to the conclusion last week that I really just need a fucking good job that I can enjoy and excel/grow my career for the time-being just-in-case.  The sadness and disappointment, I discovered, came from my lack of long-term planning.  Even while I continued in the high-paying consulting gigs, I should have continued my search for a full-time Director, HR or Director of Operations/Administration position.  I chose not to…and that’s where the frustration lies.  Too bad I didn’t realize this sooner, I would have chosen and done differently.  Knowing that now, that is exactly my plan.  And moving forward, I will do just that.

Embrace:  Now, I just want a friggin’ day job.   I want something fun, something creative, something analytical.  If it is a temporary or a consulting position, I will indeed continue searching for a great full-time great-paying position.  It has been a crazy hard couple of weeks and I am exploring any and all options.  I still am working on “Embracing” my situation.   I do know that given today’s economy, now that I am a statistic, I most likely will NOT earn what I did even two years ago.  And, that’s sad too!  I have almost completely accepted where I am now, but I have not yet enthusiastically and willingly embraced my current situation.  I’m working on it.  I’m only human, right?

So, my friends, acquaintances, and family, wish me luck over the next week.  I definitely need some great prayers and good energy.


1)  For those of you who don’t know, Maine had a 4.0 (ish) earthquake yesterday.  Even my sister felt it near Boston, MA.  Craziness!  Why does the vision of the movie, “2012,” always come to mind?
2)  This past weekend’s Saturday Night Live spot on last week’s Vice Presidential debate.  Hilarious!
3)  Last night’s Presidential Debate was no help to me at all.  If I didn’t get anything out of it, I can’t imagine undecided voters got anything out of it.  Did anyone else feel that way?
4)  I have noticed myself taking bigger yogi breaths than usual this past week.  They always seem to help for some reason.
5)  “How I Learned To Smile From The Inside,” my upcoming self-help book, is still coming along fabulously.  Completed some major re-writes and edits last week and I am awaiting next steps from my PR guy.  Yay!

A Smile From The Inside Production 🙂